I started practising with my daughter to speak in all different situations. Initially, we started with some role plays at home with her family members and slowly moved on to shops, café, playgrounds, restaurants, strangers on the road. Now, I am very proudly to say she is confident to speak anywhere.

You need to work with the chid to give them the ability to be able to communicate in all situations.  This helps them build more confidence and helps them break their existing cycle of avoidance. You need to get the child to do brave talking every day in different situations so that it becomes a norm for them.

You should come up with the list of places you think your child could do brave talking e.g., shops, restaurants, coffee shops, grocery shop, playground, friend’s house etc. Think of the places which can be less crowded or the times which could be less crowded to start.

Try and go to the place with the child alone – just yourself and the child. Additional people with you special siblings can be distractions for the child, and he may not be able to be successful with brave talking. 

You can do a role play with the child where you could act like a shop keeper and the child is the customer.  You could provide the child with a script and rehearse them purchasing something.

This can be first done in a comfortable environment like home and slowly moving to the place you want to do it. It is ok even if the child cannot read yet you can still preparer a script to make sure you are consistent in your role play. You could even take turns where the child becomes the shopkeeper and you become the customer. The key is to over practise so that it comes to them very naturally. It also helps to build their language skills.

A set rewards of prize should be agreed with the child for the brave talking. This helps to keep them motivated and they work towards a goal. Please see the reward system article for details on how to build a reward system.

 You can create a brave talking chart as below and give them a start for the brave talking –

An example of a script which I practised and implemented with my child successfully:

We went to shop to buy swimming googles for her.

Child: Could I please have swimming googles please?

Shopkeeper: Sure, what colour would you like?

Child: I would like pink googles please.

Shopkeeper takes her choose the googles. Once she has selected, we went back to the counter to make the payment.

Child: How much are these google for please?

Shopkeeper: $30

Child hands over the money to the shopkeeper. Shopkeeper take the money and give the googles to the child.

Child: Thank you

In this example it took several iterations for us to be successful. When we went to shop, she became mute and would not say a word. So, I took her out of the shop, and we did the role play practise again at a distance. We role played again and again, and each time we moved closer to the shop. When had to do a couple of iterations of this process before we were successful. When she spoke to the shop keeper, I stood next to her and provided her with a labelled praise and reflection after each sentence. I did have to prompt her but the fact that she spoke was great. In this scenario her reward was the googles and she felt enormously proud that she bought it herself.

The next time I took her to a shop to buy ice cream. We did a couple of iterations before we were successful in the ice cream shop. If you feel even after practicing several times, they are still not able to do it then just give them a break do it another day. You may want to think of tweaking something to make it easier for them. For e.g., in the ice cream shop, we failed on the first day. So, she did not get her ice cream reward. The next day we tried again but this time I let her pick up the ice cream from the freezer and then go to the counter and it worked!

I made this game with my daughter where if we were walking on the road, we always greet any passer-by dog and ask their owners the dog’s name. Every time she did it, I praised her, and she felt more and more successful. Yes, initially her voice was so soft that no one could understand her, so I just reflected what she said and praised her. Now she would stop by the dog and do the talking herself even if I forget sometimes. This way I gave her the confidence to speak to any stranger.

I have made her practise to greet any taxi driver when we sit in a taxi. Now it has become a habit and there are no reminders or prompts needed. She will do it independently without any prompts.

The idea is to be successful by taking small steps and make them believe in themselves that they can do it. It is completely ok if they say it in a soft voice or in whispers. Do not be negative about it. You can reflect or repeat what the child says to help him. As much as tempting it may seem but do not say ‘could say it louder so that uncle/aunty could hear you’. Eventually they will get the loud voice as they get more and more comfortable and confident.

After a couple of weeks, we were successful in all different kinds of places in the first attempt, and it is a great feeling of success.

Many children with SM do not like to receive too much attention and over praise. They fear that people will make a big deal of their talking and that is the reason they avoid talking. The reinforcement should be very low-key. You can say something like – “Great job using your brave voice in the shop” or “I love the way you used your brave voice in the shop”.

When you praise your child you need give them very specific praises like in the above example we are reminding them that they used their brave voice in the shop which is an uncomfortable environment for them.

You can also start with a brave talking chart for school. This helps you understand where the child is and which areas you need to work in with the child. In my case I gave it to the teacher in her class and they would just help put ticks (if she did it) for every day. By the end of the week, I would appreciate her for all her brave talking achievements. I would also identify the areas where I was not getting results and work on them with her.

To start with, before dropping her to school I asked would you like to say “Hello”, “Hi”, or “Good morning” to your teacher. She would choose one. I would make sure she would that greeting to whoever was at the school gate at start. It very important to send your child talking into the school so that it remains that way.

In the later weeks I worked with her on asking a question every day to her teacher. We prepared her with a question. I did role play at home multiple times and she asked her question to her teacher every day. If you would like more details on how to get your child to talk in school have look at this article –  How did I help my child from being mute at the school doorstep to presenting to her class?

You can create your own brave talking chart one for home and one for school and put a star for the child every time they do brave talking and then give them a reward at the end of the week for a certain number of stars. Make sure the reward is achievable for the child.