How Do I Build An Effective Reward System For Encouraging Brave Talking?


I have used rewards to encourage my child to do her brave talking. There are some misconceptions that the children will get use to the reward, but it is not true. It is a way of appreciating them for doing hard work of facing their fears and letting them feel proud.  After a while they get use to the brave talking and don’t need the rewards anymore.

It is important to keep the brave talking momentum going. Children love rewards and when they work hard, they feel motivated to continue the journey with the rewards. Success should always be rewarded after all these kids are doing a hard job by facing their fears. The good thing about rewards is when we reward their hard work, we are raising more confident kids.

You can create your own reward system, but it is important to keep the following suggestions in mind –

  • Keep the reward system consistent.
  • The reward should be something towards which the child feels motivated to work towards.
  • Set the behaviour goals for achieving the reward and let the child be aware.
  • Make sure the goals are not too difficult and easy to accomplish.
  • Rewards should be given immediately and not make the children wait after they have accomplished something.

You can create either tangible rewards or non-tangible rewards. You can of course create rewards intelligently so that you are not spending a bomb.

Here are some ideas for rewards-

  1. Going to an Ice cream shop to get ice cream.
  2. Small chocolate (M&Ms works well).
  3. They can get tokens/ stickers and after a certain number of tokens they get a pre-planned small, exciting toy.
  4. Temporary Tattoos.
  5. For girls, jewellery or accessories like – bracelets, necklace, hair clips or goggles.
  6. Give them few extra minutes of special time with a parent.
  7. Some family game time.
  8. Extra bed-time story time.
  9. Additional screen time.
  10. Pancake for breakfast.
  11. Make your own pizza together.
  12. Bake a cake.
  13. Have a picnic.
  14. Get to buy a cupcake.
  15. Go to the park or zoo.
  16. Get to decide menu for the family for a meal.
  17. Go bike riding.
  18. Go to the library.
  19. Art/ craft supplies
  20. One on one Scooter/ cycling time or a walk outdoor.
  21. You can buy a Lego set and give the child one-piece every time you reward him. This will help them understand each little step matters and they will add up and become something big in the end.
  22. Buy a puzzle and give a piece of the puzzle each time and keep the excitement going.
  23. You can print a picture of something the child really wants. Cut the picture into smaller pieces and make it into a puzzle. Each time the child can be rewarded a piece of the puzzle once the child has completed the puzzle, he can get the toy.
  24. You can have a reward chart for all the brave talking and once the child achieves certain number of stars, they can go to a dollar store to choose something on their own.

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