1. While walking to the school from home I made sure she was talking all the way. Remember to use the PRIDE Skills. I also noticed exercise helps to reduce anxiety levels so instead of talking your child in a car or stroller try walking/ cycling or scootering. We played racing or catching game where when it was safe on the footpath. We talked about the trees, flowers, or cars on the way. We played games like “I Spy”. We sometimes sang songs along the way.
2. Initially for about a month or more we sat outside the school playing games. When selecting the games make sure the child feels excited about the game and the game requires verbalising. My daughter loved doing Brain Quest questions and answers but here are some ideas for verbal games to play –

• Snap
• Brain Quest
• Reading cards or books and talk about the story
• Spot it or double
• Go Fish
• Hangman
• Old Maid
• Find the differences – books with find the difference puzzle between two images.
• Uno
• Hangman
• I Spy

Initially, I found my daughter found it very hard to speak outside the school so started with some sounds or noises or blowing air. Some ideas for making noises –

• Clapping
• Tapping different parts of the body objects around
• Stomping
• An easy way would be to play follow the leader and the child follows to make these sounds.

Ideas for blowing air – (Apparently blowing air is first steps to talking)Bubbles

• Blow a cotton ball or a piece of Polystyrene with a straw
• Balloons
• Free Candle app
• Blow Blow app
• Blow Ballon Pop app

I used the blowing apps a lot. They were very handy as you can use them in any situation immediately when you see your child going mute.

If possible, you could play running games just outside the school gate. Hide and seek was one our favourite games and it helped her relax.

3. I planned with her if we are going to say ‘hi’, ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ to the teacher at the school gate. She selected one of the greetings just before we left for school. We did a role play and practised. Upon few minutes before arriving at the school I would ask her how she would like to greet the teacher again– ‘hi’, ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’. She would tell me her choice. When we reached the school gate, she started greeting the teachers. Initially, she struggled to say so we took few steps back away from the school till point she would feel comfortable to answer my greeting question again. Once she successfully answered we slowly moved closer to the gate. It is important to make the child feel successful and praise her for doing it. Always use the PRIDE Skills for any brave talking. For e.g. When she said “Hello” I would say “You said hello”. “Great using your brave voice” or “I love the way you said Hello to Ms. Rosy”. I planned a reward for which I would make sure I would give her at the gate immediately after she performed the task. She did whisper or say very softly but I still applauded her brave talking ignoring the volume of her voice. It was more important she spoke and over time she did develop the volume.

4. Slowly it became a habit for her to greet the teacher in the mornings. Then we moved to next step. I would say a loud bye and wave at her from gate and she start responding back. Initially she would just do a gesture of a wave but within a week or so I heard say a loud “Bye mummy” to me from inside the school.

7. Now she was quite comfortable asking her question at the gate to any teacher who would be there. I wanted her to ask the same question to her teacher in the class when she went inside. But somehow, she would not ask. So, I started making her ask the question to her class teacher at the school gate when I picked her up from school. That started working and continued with this for a couple of weeks.

8. Now my next goal was to make her ask a question in the class to the class teacher and not only at the gate. So, this time I planned a reward for her which she really wanted. I kept it in her bag and informed the teachers once she has asked her question in the class the teacher will give her the reward from the bag in the class. This worked very well, and she started asking her question in the class without my presence. When she arrived in the class in the morning as a routine, she had a question to ask, and the teacher was also updated so she would ask her to ask.

9. Next step is to do a show and tell performance in front of her whole class. I requested the teacher to give her an opportunity to do it in front of the class. I sent her a home recording of the show and tell she did at home. Upon completion of this she was supposed to get a pre-planned reward at school. She was very brave and stood in front of her class and did it though she was very soft, and the teachers had to help her by asking questions like – “What have you brought today for show and tell?” etc. but it all worked in the end as she answered in front of the whole class. She isn’t perfect yet, but we will work on a show and tell at the gate and with her class teacher everyday and again give her opportunity to do a performance in front of the whole class once a week and we will get there.

While writing this it makes me realize how far we have come from being mute or whispering outside the school to now presenting in front of the whole class. It has been a big success, but it does take time, consistency and perseverance. Selective Mutism is not something which gets better with time. In fact, it can only get worse with time if not addressed in the right way. The child gets so use to not talking in certain environments that it becomes a habit, and it becomes harder to rectify.  You need to get your child talking to as many people as possible and in different situations. I took very small incremental steps for her brave talking and at each step I celebrated her success making her feel proud of herself.